I'm still trying to sort through it all. It's a lot for a longtime diehard fan to absorb in a few days and being the hopelessly analytical type that I am, my mind and emotions have been pretty busy as I try to process it. However, I've strongly, strongly suspected that she was gay (in tendency, but not necessarily in practice) from long before any of the rumors ever started, and then when she never addressed the rampant rumors a few years ago, that kind of clinched it for me. So the news wasn't exactly a shock. It was just so, well, final. It was no longer my intuitive knowledge. It was hard fact.

That being said, if I sorted through my CD collection, keeping only those by artists who proved to be glowing examples of the church's idea of perfection, my stereo would be mighty silent. Besides, the appeal of Jennifer Knapp as an artist and person has never been that she was a spotless example of a Christian -- it was that she was refreshingly honest about the fact that she wasn't. If only all followers of Christ could see that in themselves.

The part that's bothered me in all this was some of her answers to the CT interview that left me a bit puzzled -- especially when she seemed to be saying that there's been no struggle within herself about her gay feelings and her lyrics weren't ever about that. I wanted to say, "WHAT?! Then WHO wrote all those songs I've been listening to all these years?!" Her big announcement, if anything, seemed to make her lyrics all the more poignant until I read that. But, maybe I just read way too much into her lyrics all those years.

Anyway, the summary of my perspective is: No matter what, nothing can ever take away what she's given me. Her music has helped shape my perspective on God's amazing grace, helped me more fully realize my need for that grace, and more fully appreciate it. It's given me hours and hours of pure musical enjoyment. It's enhanced my appreciation for the art of good songwriting. Heck, I was even introduced to the fun world of social media on her first Web site, where I met fans from all over the world. You could say Jennifer's influence changed my life in SO many possitive ways. God used her influence to shape me into a better Christian and a more interesting person. And, again, THAT can never change. So what can possibly be left but gratitude?

As for now? She's made it pretty clear in various media that she is no longer marketing herself as a "Christian music artist" but a secular one (and lets' be real -- politically, it couldn't be any other way).  I've listened to her new sound clips and, in many ways, it's the same old Jen, with that folky rock sound and intense, thought-provoking lyrics, they just aren't as directly about God as they used to be, but He certainly still seems to be there. Since I've always been a fan of ANY good music, secular or sacred, I'm sure I'll continue to be a fan of her music. I already pre-ordered her new CD on her Web site (the first day the option was available and two days before "the news" broke), so it's on it's way. I suppose when I get it I'll do what I've always done when I get a new Jennifer Knapp album: tear off the plastic wrap and hurry to the CD player.

I never was that big of a fan but it explains why she dropped out of the music biz.  I'll be interested to hear what you think of the new album.